Two Cows

How To Explain Global Systems Using Two cows

Communism
The state takes your cows away, wastefully stores the milk and gets a low yield, you are then asked to way in a never ending queue and pay less than the true cost of production for an inferior product with a short shelf life.

Capitalism
One cow is downsized, to save on production costs ,the remaining cow is then forced to efficiently produce four times the milk, capitalists are amazed when the cow dies!

Socialism
One cow is taken away from the evil, capitalist swine who seeks to profit from controlling too many assets.
The cow that the state has removed is sent to Africa as a gift, along with a sizable aid package to enable correct use of the new asset.
The farmer who previously owned the cow is then presented with a sizable tax bill, for daring to want to better his lot in life.

New Ageism
The cows are played some soothing music, and asked to get in touch with their inner cow, incense and soothing music are played in the byre to aid in boosting yields.

Liberalism
The cows are asked to take part in focus groups, in an effort to repackage their milk as health drink, and get their core message across.
Meanwhile one of the cows is caught cottaging on Hampstead heath, but was only an honest mistake

French Corporatism
You have 2 cows, go on strike as you really want 3 cows

Russian Corporatism
You count your cows, discover you have 5,decide to recount you now have 42,count again you now have 12,get pissed of counting cows and break for more vodka.

British Corporatism
Your cows are mad, try to sell the to the Europeans no bugger wants them

Japanese Corporatism
Cows are redesigned to be 100th of the size require half the feed, and yield 50 times more milk

Nazism
The government takes both your cows and shoots you.



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